What Hurts The Most?
by Fate's Apprentice
Summary: "What Hurts The Most?: Saying Something And Wishing You Hadn't, Or Saying Nothing And Wishing You Had?" Alex is in love with Justin. Justin is in love with Alex. What will there family think? Certainly, what you'd least expect. AU. OOC. Not Incest. Jalex!
1. All I'm Gonna Say

*Hey, this is my First Wizard of Waverly Place story. I'm a Jalex shipped. But I make it so it's not incest. Just to let you know. I'm gonna throw something in this story to make it legal. Lol. Anyway this is my first chappie. Hope you like. No flames please!*

**What Hurts The Most?**

"_What hurts the most: saying something and wishing you hadn't, or saying nothing and wishing you had?" _Alex is in love with Justin, and Justin is in love with Alex. What will their family think? Certainly not what you'd expect!

Chapter One:

All I'm Gonna Say.

"_What hurts the most: saying something and wishing you hadn't, or saying nothing and wishing you had?"_

"Alex. I…I've got a problem…" I looked up from my journal to see Justin leaning on the frame of my doorway. I quickly closed my journal and looked up at him.

"Okay… and you want me to?" I replied. My eyes ran down his body. I had been harboring this huge, almost suffocating crush on Justin for almost a year now. Well, I wouldn't call it a crush; because…lets face it…I was hopelessly in love with him. I was almost 17. The wizard competition was only days away. This was so not good.

"I want you to listen. And not hate me. And not disown me. And…well, If I'm being honest…I want you to feel the same. But, I don't think there is the slightest chance that will happen. I'd be somewhat content if I only got the first three." He answered, softly as he wondered into my room.

"Okay. You've got my attention." I opened my bedside draw and threw my pencil and wand in there. I would lock it once Justin left the room.

He sighed and sat on the edge of my bed. I couldn't help but wish things were different. That I was his girlfriend and not his sister.

"Umm… before you yell at me, can you hear me out? Let me finish before you start in on me." He started and when I nodded, slowly and cautiously, he continued.

"Umm… I sort of have this problem where I um… accidentally…um…fell in love with this really…beautiful, smart, witty, insightful, talented, and lovely girl." He hesitated and then looked at me, gauging my reaction.

I took an immediate hit. Justin, the guy who I happened to be in love with, coming to me for help getting a girl he loves. I'm starting to think Justin was right with all that karma crap. This sucks.

I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood, inhaled, and responded, "Ok. What's the problem? She got a boyfriend?" I couldn't help but wince. _Who would reject Justin? _He's so sweet, perfect, selfless, smart…everything I wasn't.

"Well, no. At least I don't think so… Does she?" he asked me, fearfully looking up at me.

"I'm not a mind reader, Justin. Who's the girl? I tell you if I know if she's got a guy or not."

"That's just it. I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because… I don't want you to um… You know what? Never mind. I'll figure it out." He stammered as he started to get up.

"No!" I responded quickly as I reached out and grabbed his wrist. I felt electricity shoot up my arm. I almost let go when I jumped. But I didn't. And I felt Justin Jump too.

"Did you feel that?" I asked his quietly, feeling heat rise to my cheeks.

"Yeah." He sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck. He stared down at my hand holding his wrist.

"Who is she?" I asked him, trying to let it not be known that I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.

"You have to promise that you won't hate me."

"I promise." I whispered.

"You. Alex. It's you." He diverted his eyes as I felt my heart flutter. I didn't just hear what I thought I heard, did I?

I blinked and looked up at him, as I stood up and moved in front of him at the foot of my bed?

"Me?" I squeaked. I hated that he had flustered me, but couldn't believe it. Justin Russo, Mr. Perfect, smart, selfish, and everything I'm not, liked me!

He stared at his feet as he shuffled them back and fourth. His cheeks were tinted pink and I couldn't breathe. "Yeah," he muttered.

"You like me?" I asked in a whisper as I inched closer.

"If I just liked you, I wouldn't have such a huge problem. I'm in love with you, Alex." He told me seriously, his dark eyes meeting mine.

I blinked again. "No."

"What?"

"No. She doesn't have a boyfriend." I specified.

He looked at me strangely. "I just told you, my sister, that I am in love with you. And that's all you're going to say."

I felt a crooked smile appear on my lips. "Yeah that's all I'm gonna _say_." And with that, I reached up on tiptoes, and pressed my lips to Justin's.


	2. We Fight

*Seems like you guys like so far. Here's the next installment. Happy reading. R&R!

_**What Hurts The Most?**_

**By: Fate's Apprentice.**

"_What hurts the most: saying something and wishing you hadn't, or saying nothing and wishing you had?"_

Chapter Two:

_We fight._

I felt my breath hitch when my lips touched his and I felt electricity and all that crap that everyone says you're supposed to feel. He was my brother and while I know I should feel horrible for feeling this way about my brother… guilty…disgusted…, I didn't! I felt exhilarated and felt like I could feel every nerve ending in my body, especially the places that our bodies touched. I waited for him to push me away while I stood there frozen against his lips. Neither of us moved. He froze and I waited for him to crush my hopes and dreams.

But he didn't…

I felt his unfreeze. I opened my eyes and met his gaze, our lips still pressed together. Whatever he saw in my eyes must have been good enough, because all of a sudden, his eyes fluttered shut and he kissed me. My eyes fluttered shut and I kissed back. Lips moved together and I felt his tongue flick across my bottom lip. I shivered and gasped, involuntarily letting him in, but I didn't mind it. His tongue entered my mouth and swept around. He did things with his mouth that made me shiver. One of us moaned… I'm not sure who.

I felt my arms wrap up and around his neck, and felt his own slip around my torso, one holding the small of my back and the other up just a bit higher to tangle in the bottom of my black hair. My hold tightened and I put everything I felt in that kiss. Every last drop of feeling. He kissed me back in the same way.

He loved me. He really loved me. The way he kissed me made my head spin round and I know I moaned this time. My legs felt like they turned to jelly and I felt his hold tighten on my waist and-

"Alex! Justin! We're leaving, guys! Come say goodbye!"

We both jumped apart. I waited for guilt. For something, anything to remind me that this was my brother nothing came. Just stood in front of me. Both of us were gasping for breath. I looked up and met his brown eyes. I saw the same emotions I felt in them. No guilt, or resentment, or remorse… just… love…and _lust…_

"Give us a minute, Mom!" I heard Justin shout. I jumped slightly. He didn't tear his eyes away from mine. Finally, reality set in. It didn't matter how much I loved Justin or he loved me. Or even how right in looked and felt in our eyes. We were still brother and sister. This was forbidden. Taboo. Even though I knew rules were meant to be broken, I still knew we had to face facts.

I think Justin figured out the same thing.

I took a breath. "Coming!" I shouted as I started past Justin and to the door. As I passed Justin, I found his hand, squeezed, reach up on tip toes, and whispered close to his ear, "Well figure this out **after** _Mom and Dad leave for their week-long vacation while Max is at summer camp._"

I went to my door and opened it. At some point I heard Justin come down about two minutes after me. I hugged Mom, kissed Daddy, nodded and rolled my eyes as they read us the standard rules while they were gone. In the back of my mind, I snickered while I commented silently that she had never told me not to fall in love with my brother, not to really kiss him, and definitely not to date him…

When they finally left, closing the shop behind them, I turned on my heel, rested my hands on my hips and looked toward Justin. He looked thoughtful. Finally, he slipped from his revere to look at me. I was ultra-aware of the way his eyes ran me over and I bit my lip.

"They're gone." I stated simply, obviously. Justin hesitated for a mere second and his head immediately turned to glance at the front doors. Determination touched his eyes as they met mine. And then he was in front of me, a hand on my waist and the other cupping my cheek.

"I should feel guilty. I should feel regret. Remorse. Lots of things. Anything but this. All I feel…I'm happy. I shouldn't be happy." His breath fanned my face and made me shiver, agreeably.

I looked up at him. Lifted my hand to let my fingers brush the soft skin of Justin's cheek. " I know. Same here. But I don't want to feel guilty. Don't want to regret. I…I want this."

He blinked, at first surprised, and then smiled. Really smiled. It made my heart flutter. I let my other arm wrap around his neck and slipped my hand back behind his neck, to knot in the base of his head in his hair. "You do?" he pressed his forehead to mine, and all doubt and hesitation I had fled.

"I do." I stated, firmly, determination flashing in my own golden brown eyes. He smiled. My heart fluttered. He pressed his lips to mine. The world stopped spinning.

Half an hour later, Justin and I sat together, curled up on the couch, watching _28 Days Later_. A bowl of popcorn sat in the center of my lap. His arms wrapped around me, hands joined at my hip, while my head rested on his chest. His chin sat on the top of my head and on occasion he would duck under and kiss my cheek or temple, my nose or eyes… in other word, I was in heaven.

The movie ended and we had both ended up laying on our sided, watching the movie; our half finished popcorn lay neglected on the table. His fingers skirted under my shirt and skated along my side, idly drawing designs. My back to his chest, one of his arms looped loosely over my waist.

The credits rolled down the screen. Justin kissed the back of my neck and I shivered. "Justin, what are we going to do?" I whispered.

He didn't have to ask what about, "I don't know. One thing I know for sure, I'm not giving this up for anything. Your mine. I'm never letting you go. Unless you leave that is."

"Not gonna happen." I turned in his arms, met his eyes and whispered, very softly, "I love you." He blinked and froze. "You do?"

"I thought that was implied, stupid." I giggled. He rolled his eyes and kissed my nose.

"I love you, too." He whispered and rested his forehead in the crook of my shoulder.

I giggled and sighed, again I asked, "What are we going to do?"

"Fight."

"Fight?"

He nodded and lifted his head to meet my gaze, "I'm not going down without a fight. I love you, you love me. What anyone else thinks is there problem."

"What about the law, and Mom and Dad, and Max, and Harper, and Zeke, and-"

He shut me up with a kiss.

"We fight them all tooth and nail." He whispered when we parted breathlessly.

"So we're staying together?" I questioned.

"With any luck, forever." He replied with a breathtaking smile. I grinned and nooded.

"We fight?" I asked locking eyes with him.

He met my gaze, measurably. With stubbornness and surefire determination, he answered,

"Till the bitter end."


	3. So What?

_* OMG. I am soooo sorry. I got locked outta my account and stuff. Sorry. Here's my update._

* * *

_**What Hurts The Most?**_

**By: Fate's Apprentice.**

"_What hurts the most: saying something and wishing you hadn't, or saying nothing and wishing you had?"_

* * *

Chapter Three:

_So What?_

* * *

I feel an arm slip under me and my eyes flutter briefly while I'm dodging back and forth between the realms of consciousness and unconsciousness. I feel the couch fall away from me and I'm pulled tight against a warm body. I slip my arms around his neck and snuggle more into him, pressing my face into the warm crook of his neck. He moves silently throughout the apartment, and it gets slightly darker behind my closed eyelids. He jostles me slightly and I'm not really awake enough to figure out where it is he's going. I hear a faint click and soon after he slips me down onto a bed and pulls the covers up over me.

I feel a warm pressure on my forehead, my nose, my eyes, my lips. I hear him sigh and listen to his footsteps fall away. Then it hits me. I snap my eyes open and jerk up in my bed.

Justin had left.

Why'd he leave?

Carefully, I turn on my lamp, lock my bedside draw- which I had forgotten all about in the heat of everything going on- and stand up. Quietly, I change into my purple nightie and turn my lights off as I open my door and, closing it behind me, I pad barefoot down the hall to Justin's room.

I can tell the lights are on when I get to it. I check the door and find it unlocked. I push it open, quietly, to see Justin sitting on the side of his bed. His back is to me and he's bent over, head in his hands. He's clad in only a pair of blue pajama bottoms. No shirt. Hair messy. Hot.

But he's upset and I can tell, so I carefully make my way over to him and slip my arms around his warm body as I sit next to him. He jumps a bit, but chuckles, and wraps his warm arms around my frame, pulling me closer.

"What are you doing up?" he whispers softly in my ear, the heat of his voice making me shiver.

"What are you doing leaving me alone? Hmmm? You should be in bed **with me**." I reply, softly.

He gives me a surprised look. "What?"

I frown, my eyes narrowing. "I don't wanna sleep alone. Besides," I snuggle closer to him, "Your so warm." I murmur, drowsily.

He finally chuckles in understanding, the deep rumble of it making my heart skip a couple beats. He tightens his grip ever-so-slightly and smiles into my hair.

"What are you doing in here alone, anyway?" I ask, softly. Lifting my head to lock my soft brown eyes with his. They darken considerably and he suddenly looks extraordinarily tired. "Thinking." he mutters by way of answer.

I'm not satisfied so I lean up and press my lips to his, hungrily. He gasps, surprised, but has no trouble kissing me back. I hum happily, and brush my tongue along his bottom lip, looking for access. He grants it and the gentle caress of tongues and tired, sloppy kissing lulls me into a happy, sleepy, little trance. I adjust my position, tired of craning my neck, and impatiently turn and clamber onto his lap. I slip my arms lazily around his neck as he wraps his arms hazardously around my waist. He moans into my mouth and we break, just a bit gasping for air, and then are kissing again.

Press, kiss, release, breathe.

Press, kiss, release, breathe.

I push him back, gently so he's half laying on his bed with his legs hanging off its side and I kiss him hungrily, moaning. His hands rest on my waist and lips work against my lips just as desperately. I slip down, and start kissing, sucking, and nipping at his neck. He moans loudly and squirms beneath me.

"Alex." he gasps and attempts to push me away.

I snap my eyes up, startled, and lock them with his heated brown ones. One emotion dominates over all the others in them: _lust_.

"We gotta stop or we're gonna have a whole different set of problems." his voice is low and seductive as he hints this with a low chuckle.

I'm confused for a minute.

"What are you talking a-"

_Oh. _

"-oh."

He laughs lightly, at the look on my cherry red face.

"Yeah. _Oh_."

I'm still red when he carefully sits up, with me still on his lap. He tenderly kisses my nose and smiles crookedly at me. "It's late. You should get some sleep." he advises, softly. I glance over at his alarm clock and it blinks at me, enforcing Justin's words. _2:46 a.m_.

I nod and crawl off of him and up toward the head of his bed. I impatiently untuck his covers and crawl under them, laying down on the right side of his bed with my head on his pillow, I look to him expectantly, surprised to see him looking at me confusedly.

"Why are you-?" he starts to question, but I cut him off.

"I though we went over this… I'm not sleeping alone." I reply. It finally seems to sink in and he blinks in realization, but continues to stare at me.

"Well…?" I question, with expectancy to my tired voice. He finally smiles and get up. He walks over to his door, and for a second I think he's leaving, but he locks it and turns and heads back to me. I hold the covers up next to me for him to slip under, and he does, with a small smile. He lays down next to me and I turn, and curl up against him. I slide halfway onto him, halfway off. One leg thrown over both of his, on my stomach with my head resting on his chest. I can hear his steady heartbeat, slightly elevated. He wraps both his arms around me, intertwining his fingers at my side. He brushes a gentle kiss to my temple.

"I love you," I breathe, already drifting off.

He sighs, happily. "I love you, too."

* * *

I wake up alone…

For the briefest, fleeting, minute I think I dreamt the whole thing, because god knows that's happened before, but then realize that I couldn't have. I'm in Justin's room, sleeping in Justin's bed, I feel the spot where I know he was sleeping. It's still warm.

I glance at his clock. _10:54 p.m._

I sigh.

_Please, god. Tell me Justin isn't having second thoughts._

I pull myself off his bed, stumbling as my foot gets caught in the blankets. I yank my foot free and tip toe out of Justin's room. I head down the stairs, shivering at the temperature drop.

_Justin._

Justin is standing in front of the stove, doing something I cant see, back turned to me. He's still in his pj's. I make it to the floor without a sound, half not wanting to speak, and half needing to. I need to know if Justin regrets it. If he had left because his conscious had overridden his heart. I bite my lip and feel water rise to my eyes as I take a couple steps toward his back. I force on a blank face.

"Justin?" my voice is shaky, and much to my chagrin, broken.

He jumps and turns, perfect brown eyes landing on me, oblivious to my inner turmoil. He looks me up and down, his eyes seeming heavy to me, but in all actuality, his face is as blank as my own. "Alex, sit." he points to the kitchen table. I take a breath and head toward it.

_That doesn't sound too good_.

_Please don't do this, Justin. _

_I __**was**__ so happy…_

I pull out the chair and take a steadying breath as I sit. I wrap my arms around my body, more scared then I had ever been in my entire life. I stare at the wall and try to force my face to remain stoic and my tears to remain unseen. I listen to the clatter of whatever Justin is doing in the kitchen and my heart hammering in my ears.

"Please, Justin. Don't do this." I whisper ever so softly, crossing my fingers under the table.

_Maybe I can talk him out of it. _

_He said he loves me._

_He said he wants me._

_How can he do this? _

_Doesn't he know it'll kill me?_

_I need him. _

_I cant have this- know what it feels like to finally be with him- and then have it taken away… _

_No, please don't do this, Justin._.

I'm so caught up in my own thoughts that I jump out of my skin when I hear Justin's voice next to me. "I wasn't planning on you waking up. I wanted to have this upstairs." he informs me, his voice unreadable and I refuse to look toward him, fearing I might break. At his words, my heart sinks lower in my stomach.

_Justin, please don't do this…_

I'm bracing myself. Waiting for the inevitable. Waiting for Justin to crush my heart with a few neatly phrased words. I steel my jaw and pucker my lips, trying to force myself not to cry. I bite them hard and squirm in my seat.

_Please, God. If you exist, don't let him do this._

_I'll do whatever you want. _

_Just let him see reason. _

_Let me be able to talk him out of it._

_Please, I'm begging you. _

_He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. _

_Don't let this end…_

I wait for him to break my heart.

He sets a plate in front of me.

It takes a minute for the information to process as he sets a mug of hot chocolate with the mini marshmallows I love so much next to a plate of my favorite food. French toast, cut up just for me, all perfect with butter and maple syrup, a fork next to it. A bowl of strawberries and blue berries with whip cream and a cherry and a spoon precariously placed in it.

I blink, staring incomprehensively at the spread.

_What?_

He kisses me on the cheek, "I wanted to give it to you in bed, but you foiled my plot with your 'uncharacteristically-waking-up-somewhat-reasonably-early-on-a-Saturday' miracle." he chuckles in my ear. I look at him and he's smiling at me and my heart leaps in my chest and I cant breathe and I cant speak and tears roll down my cheeks.

His smile fades, "Alex, what's wrong-"

Before he can say another word, I'm jumping up. My arms slipping around his neck and wet face burying itself against the crook of it. I gasp and cry and Justin's wrapping his arms around me and holding me and I cant breathe and it's too good to be true and… and…and…

He tightens his grip on me and before I know what he's doing he's picking me up, bridal style, and carrying me to the couch. I sob against his shirt overcome with relief, with happiness.

…._thank god._

He sits down with me curled up in his lap while I cry. He doesn't say a word. He just waits for me to calm, running his finger though my hair, pressing a kiss to my temple, wiping away my tears. I take a few calming breaths, unable to comprehend it all.

"You…you still…you still…" I mumble, almost inaudibly, as I cling to him.

"I still what?" he finally speaks, not much more then a sweet whisper. He takes my face in his hands and turns my chin so my wide brown eyes meet his.

"You still wanna be with me?" I give him a watery smile, "You don't regret it?" I hiccup, "When I woke up with you gone I… I thought…"

He blinks, a look of understanding coming over his face as he finishes the sentence for me, "You thought I was going to tell you that this is wrong, that I can't be with you, that I won't." he whispers, compassion filling his soft, sweet tone. I nod and hiccup again. He pulls my face up and kisses me gently on the lips. I melt against the kiss, sweet relief flooding my veins.

_Thank God._

He brushes away the last of my tears as he kisses me, sweetly. He presses all his emotions into it, forcing me to feel them as if they were my own.

_Love._

_Relief. _

_Desperation. _

_Lust. _

_Want. _

_Need. _

_Love. _

_Love!_

_It's there…_

_Love!_

I kiss him back just as desperately; pressing all of my vivid emotions into that one searing kiss. He holds me tighter. I slip my fingers through his hair.

Finally, we both break for air, gasping, foreheads pressed together, eyes watching each other. He gives me a watery smile.

"Alex. I love you. I don't regret what's between us. On the contrary, I revel in it. You have no idea how happy I was when you told me that you felt the same. The relief, the joy, the desperation. I'm never going to regret it. Alex…" he trails of breathlessly as he struggles for words, "It's not going to happen. It's never going to happen. I need this. I need you. I don't care what anyone says. I love you. I'm going to be with you, no matter what. As long as…as long as you feel the same… it's gonna take a lot more then- a few laws, Mom, Dad, Max, Harper, Zeke, society, anything in general…actually I don't know anything short of you- capable of stopping me. If you had said you didn't feel the same then…" I cut him off as I kiss him again.

We both gasp, pulling apart. "Not gonna happen, Justin." I state with a smile.

"Good." he breathes. Then he smiles and takes my hand, "Come on," he pulls me to my feet, "Breakfast is getting cold."

He leads me back to the table and sits down next to me. I dig in, suddenly ravenous, and grin foolishly, thankful beyond words for how wrong I was. He takes a few careful bites out of his own food and we share a few messy kisses, tasting syrup and fruit and chocolate. By the time most of our food is finished we're just short of eating out of each other's mouths. Giggling, and laughing, reveling in our feelings and nearly drunk off of it.

He pulls me out of my chair and, still kissing me, drags us both to the couch. He inhales my scent and squeezes me tightly to him. I giggle as he pulls me into his lap, his chest flush against my back, arms tight around my waist. I angle my head back to taste his lips and he chuckles and obliges.

It suddenly occurs to me, that I've never been this happy.

This week.

This month.

This year.

This decade.

Ever.

I've never been this happy.

I'm nearly drunk off of it. I don't care what anyone says. I'm in love with Justin. So what, if he's my brother, so what if it's wrong, so what! I make him happy and he makes me…_so much more_.

**That** is what I decide as he turns me around and pulls me down with him.

**That** is what I resolve as he kisses me passionately.

**That** is what I determine as he slips his arms around my waist and I wrap my arms around his neck, slipping fingers through soft brown locks.

**That**, Ladies and Gentlemen, is what I conclude when Harper walks into the apartment while Justin and I are doing just **that**.

* * *

Dun Dun Dum! Harper knows! Harper knows! Now what will Harper think of this? What will Justin and Alex do? Find out next in 'What Hurts The Most?'!

TBC


	4. A Royal Wedding

_*__**Note: This takes place in season four. Alternate universe. Juliet and Mason never existed. This is just after the Wizards of Waverly Place Movie. Alex is seventeen and Justin just turned eighteen. Harper knows about magic. She's dating Zeke, who doesn't know. Any questions? Please PM me or ask them in a review. I do so love them so please send me some!**_

* * *

_**What Hurts The Most?**_

**By: Fate's Apprentice.**

"_What hurts the most: saying something and wishing you hadn't, or saying nothing and wishing you had?"_

* * *

Chapter Four:

_**A Royal Wedding**_

* * *

"Oh My God! _What_ are you guys doing?" I hear Harper's shrill appalled scream of a question. Justin and I immediately pull away from each other and are on opposite sides of the couch in seconds. We lock eyes.

One word: _Fuck_

"Uh… nothing, Harper. We weren't doing anything!" Justin's voice cracks from the lie and I face palm.

I sigh and shake my head. "Really, Justin? You cant lie to save your life, I swear." I look over to Harper who's standing stalk still in the doorway, her face white, confused, and apparently trying to come up with an excuse as to why her best friend was making out with her own brother.

I take a deep breath. "Close the door, Harper. Come in. Sit down. Don't say a word."

Justin and I both clamber to our feet. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and I cant help but smile.

_God, he's so adorable. And all mine too, if I can just convince Harper not to have a heart attack. _

We both watch as Harper heads over to us after shutting and locking the door behind her. I take a step to the right, leaving her room to get to the couch. She sits down, mind still reeling, gears still churning.

Justin locks eyes with me, in a low voice he says, "We can wipe her memory." he offers.

Harper looks petrified. "No! Don't you dare use magic on me!" she glares at Justin.

I shake my head and rub the back of my neck with a sigh. "No, that wont do. Harper's my best friend. She deserves to know the truth." I take a breath. "Harper, I'm in love with Justin."

"Alex!" Justin hisses, apparently not agreeing with my decision on how to handle this. I give him a look and he shuts up.

Harper blinks a few times, digesting this bit of information. She stands up in front of me, eyes roaming over my face, apparently looking for something, but I have no idea what it is. "This isn't some joke, or prank, or test?" she asks.

I shake my head.

"You're serious?" she questions.

I nod again and take another breath. "I'm in love with my brother. I'm in love with Justin Russo." I confess again, looking her in the eye.

Apparently, she find what she's looking for because she gives me a slow nod of her head and collapses onto the couch. She looks to Justin, "What about you?" she questions with a tired voice.

Justin looks torn for a brief moment as his eyes wander over Harper's face. He glances to me. I keep my face blank, but underneath, I'm scared outta my mind for his answer. He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. He takes a few calming breaths and then looks to me again. I offer him a weak smile. Something clicks behind Justin's brown eyes, and suddenly I'm lost in an ocean of lust and love and need and want. He smiles a wry little smile and then glances toward Harper.

"I'm in love with my sister. I'm in love with Alex Russo." he confesses quietly, eyes never leaving Harper's sure gaze.

I feel my shoulders slump with relief and my knees give out beneath me with happiness. Justin trusts me. I collapse into Dad's chair, my breath ragged from not breathing for so long. I hadn't even noticed I'd been holding my breath. Harper finally gives a short nod, indicating she believes him, and Justin collapses into the chair across from me.

Harper inhales deeply and lets her eyes flutter shut. She leans back, face turned toward the ceiling. Justin offers me a weak smile from across the room and I suddenly miss his touch with an ache that fills me to the brim with longing, but I dare not move until Harper says something. I offer him the same smile and squirm in my chair. Justin doesn't look too comfortable either.

"You Russo's love making things difficult on yourselves, don't you?" she sighs, her eyes are still closed. I make to answer but Justin does it for me.

"Harper. We didn't chose this. It just happened and neither I nor Alex could have prevented it. The only thing we _can_ do is either embrace it or run from it, and seeing how running was making us both miserable, we decided to change tactics." he explains, tiredly.

I smile. Justin always had a way of explaining things so perfectly.

He smiles bitterly to the ceiling, "Not that I don't want to be in love with Alex. I do. The only thing I would like to change is her being my sister. Other then that, I'm perfectly content. I'm happy with her, Harper. I haven't ever been this happy. And I think I'm right when I say the same goes for my beautiful girlfriend." he smiles toward me and my heart leaps in my chest when he calls me that.

Harper's eyes open and she looks to me.

I nod, "He's right, Harper. I've never ever been this happy. I love Justin. And I'm gonna be with him, whether you or anyone else likes it or not. This is our life. Our decision. If we wanna be together, then we will. We'll fight you all for the right to be happy. To be in each other's arms…I'm happy." I smile at the source of my happiness. His eyes glitter at my confession.

Harper watches us for a brief moment, then her gaze lands on me. She stands and sighs, then offers me a smile. "If…if you're happy then nothing else matters. I just want you guys to be happy, your basically my family. And you two look awfully good together…and well, more then happy. I'm not going to do anything. I'm not gonna stand in your way. I'm happy for you guys."

Justin's out of his seat in seconds and so am I. We both hug Harper fiercely, "Thank you, Harper." I squeal squeezing her.

Justin's arms are around the both of us. He kisses her cheek, "Yeah. You wont regret it."

Harper blushes and gives him a measured look, "I better not. 'Cuz if you hurt her, Justin Russo, then…then… well, let's just say, it's gonna be up to pass down the family name." she threatens.

Justin turns pale. "Message received."

I giggle and hug Harper tightly. She grins at me, truly happy for me, "Well, I can't believe it. Who would a ever thought that my biggest competition for Justin would be you, Alex?" she snickers.

Justin chuckles, "Sorry, Harper. I hate to say it, but you never had a chance."

She looks at the two of us. "How long?"

"Have we been together?" askes Justin.

"Or how long we've felt this way?" I question.

"Both."

Justin Smiles. "We got together yesterday afternoon. And, well… I've been in love with Alex ever since a year ago when Gigi ended up with Alex's diary."

I look up at him surprised. "But you helped me with Dean!" I protest, incredulous.

_That long?_

_Justin had loved me for that long?_

_Why hadn't I told him sooner?_

"And I was _so_ **incredibly** jealous. You have no idea." he blushes, darkly. But his eyes are on me.

I smile weakly and blush when I confess, "I lied."

He blinks, surprised, and it's all of a sudden like Harper isn't even in the room. "About?"

"When I said I didn't write you in my diary. I did. Just you. No Max. Not even Dean. I wrote him in last second when I thought of someone finding my diary. I kinda figured they'd think I had a crush of Dean. That he would distract them from who I wrote you as…" I trail off staring at the ground.

Justin takes a step toward me. He slips his arms around my waist and in a very soft voice, "Who am I?" he asks.

I look up and blush. He's so close. "Prince Justin. I'm only a princess because of him…" I trail off again, looking anywhere but Justin's beautiful eyes.

Harper rejoins the universe, "Wait, but the only Justin could make you a Princess is if he was a prince and he married you…"

Harper trails off when she sees the look on my face. "Oh…"

I blush and stare at the ground, suddenly very interested in my feet. Justin's low rumble of laughter jars me from my reverie and I look up to see him grinning and laughing with surprise and awe. His eyes sparkle at me and I've never seen him look so…gleeful. He takes my face in his hands and presses his forehead to mine.

He kisses me lightly and grins, "Can Prince Justin asks his Lovely Wife how long they've been married?"

I flush furiously and make to duck my head, but he grabs my chin and keeps my brown eyes on his steady ones. "Since December 16th of last year." I squeak.

He smiles even wider, "Pretty date, too. Can Prince Justin ask how long his bride has been harboring feelings for him?"

"Since you taught me how to fly the carpet." I admit, shyly.

He smiles and leans down to kiss me properly once again. He wraps his strong arms around my waist and I slip my fingers through his short brown hair, tongues dancing in a tango that feels as if it were made solely for us…that is until Harper's cough pulls us from our world.

"Get a room!"

We both laugh.

"We have a room-"I start

"-your just in it!" Justin finishes.

And we both blush when we realize that we had finished each other's sentence.

Harper grins at the two of us. Then shakes her head, "Alright. I can take a hint. I'll leave you alone to have your day together, only because you wont have a lot of chances like this. But, I'll be back tomorrow. And don't worry. I wont tell anyone." she assures as she heads for the door. We wait for it to lock behind her and then Justin grins goofily at me.

He scoops my up, bridal style, and twirls me around briefly. When our giggling finally subsides Justin gives me a cheeky grin after brushing a kiss to my temple, still holding me.

"So… about this _wedding_…" he chuckles as I blush, "…Fill Prince Justin in..."

* * *

_* PLEASE REVIEW!_


	5. Insomnia's Gift

**What Hurts The Most**

**By: Fate's Apprentice**

* * *

_Chapter Five: _

_Insomnia's Gift_

* * *

"Justin," I whine, "Where are we going?"

The warmth of his laughter sends a shiver up my spine. One hand rests on my shoulder and the other is over my eyes, his chest is pressed up against my back. I had known something was up when Justin came out from his shower wearing wearing a dark blue button up and dark slacks, the delicious smell of his cologne sending a spike of want through me. I had known it even more when he gave me an excited little smile and begged me to get dressed.

So that's why I'm here, wherever we are, in my favorite violet colored dress with the low neckline and lacy bottom, where it falls seamlessly to my mid-thigh.

"Just wait and see." he walks me forward a bit more and then stops. He lifts my arms and presses them forward so they rest on something, like a railing?

"Okay. Open up." he commands, taking his hand off of my eyes. I blink them open and my breath catches.

I'm on a patio overlooking an unfamiliar skyline. A warm red sun setting over a sparkling blue ocean in the distance and then there's the faint outline of...what...there's no way... the Eiffel Tower! Paris! We're in Paris. The stars twinkle in the setting sky as my eyes widen. I turn on my heels to face Justin, my eyes sparkling.

That's when I blink. He's not there but... over by a little table lighting a candle in the middle of maroon colored table cloth next to a vase of roses. Soft music hits my ears and tears rise to my eyes, "Justin!" I barely breathe and he looks to me, brown eyes gleaming. I race over to him and jump, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him senseless.

He gasps and steps back, hitting the rail and leaning against it. He wraps his arms around my waist and kisses me back, heatedly. He finally pulls away gasping and I pout, he chuckles.

"We can do that later," He smirks, eyes twinkling, "but the foods gonna get cold." He picks me up and sits me in a chair across from the one he takes soon after. I glance around curiously before letting my eyes fall to my plate and I grin.

"Pizza?"

"I couldn't think of anything else you'd eat."

I giggle and pick it up, taking a bite and licking my lips, "I love it, thank you."

He smiles shyly, taking a bite, "I know it's not french, but all there food looks gross so... I kinda figured we could be a little unconventional."

"Justin," I laugh. "_We _are unconventional."

He laughs with me in agreement.

We spend the rest of the time eating and laughing and chatting away and I wouldn't have things any other way.

* * *

When we get back we're laughing and his arm is wrapped tightly around my waist, and my stomach has those stupid little butterflies, and I want to chuck every romance movie I'd ever seen off my balcony.

"So," He whispers in my ear, "Did my princess have a good time?" he questions, the heat of his voice making me shiver agreeably.

I turn in his arms and grin at him, my hands resting on his chest, "That's a stupid question, my prince." I lean up and kiss him.

Okay, so what if it's corny? Justin's corny, and I love him, so I guess corny is okay. And with his lips pressed heatedly against mine and his tongue in my mouth, I couldn't really care much either way.

* * *

I'm stepping out of the shower in my satin green nightgown, one hand drying my hair when I jump, surprised to see Justin standing awkwardly in my doorway. He's wearing pajama bottoms and no shirt. He blushes when he sees me, "Sorry, Alex... I'll just..." he turns to leave.

"It's fine, Justin." I laugh and pull wrapping my fingers around his wrist and pulling him back to me. I slip my arms around his neck. He wraps his arms tight around my waist and buries his face in my hair, inhaling deeply.

"Whatcha want?" I ask, tilting my head up.

He blushes and looks away, "I tried to sleep, but... I cant..."

I run my fingers through his hair, lazily, "You thinkin' 'bout them too?" I ask, softly.

He nods, pulling away from me and sitting on the edge of my bed. I sit next to his and wrap my arms around one of his, "I love you, Alex Russo." he murmurs.

"I love you too, Justin Russo." I smile and kiss him on the cheek. I drag him up toward the top of my bed, "Come on, Sleep will help." I convince, smiling weakly at him. He nods and climbs under the covers with me.

* * *

I'm still staring across my room, listening to Justin's heartbeat, hours later. The clock on my nightstand blinks a mocking, 3: 52 am.

"Alex?" he whispers softly.

I sigh, "Can't sleep either?"

"No."

It's quiet for a moment before I steal every ounce of courage I have in me and whisper, "Wanna try something besides sleep?"

"Like what?"

I pull my self up and straddle Justin's lap, pressing my lips hungrily to his. And he kisses back just as passionately, hands slipping through my dark hair and mouth moving along with mine. His tongue exploring my mouth. I slip my mouth off of his and start to kiss and suck at his neck. He moans, "Alex..." he hisses, a note of lust and desperation cracking through his now suddenly deeper voice.

I glace up at him through lowered eyelashes, "What if I could take care of that little problem of yours, Justin?"

His eyes darken noticeably but his voice softens, "Alex."

"What if they find out Justin? And they separate us? Please..."

"That's not gonna happen. I won't let it."

"Justin," I plead, grinding my hips a little. He groans, eyes fluttering, "Alex," he whispers eyes fluttering. I lean down and nibble on his ear, he make an odd sound. "Justin, please. I'm asking you: Make love to me?"

* * *

Guess what?

You guys get to decide what happens next.

_**Either go on my profile and vote or vote in a review now.**_

_How do you think Justin should respond to Alex's plea?_

1) Yes, Justin should sleep with Alex and make the next chapter R rated and sexually explicit and up the rating.

2) Yes, Justin should sleep with Alex. But make that implied and keep the next chapter clean.

3) Yes, but make the next chapter optional to read and let the readers be warned before they read it and up the rating.

4) No, make Justin and Alex wait longer before they sleep together.

5) No, make Justin leave Alex for asking.

Vote Please. I'll update when I get more then ten on any choice!


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